Do you remember when we’re still young? When someone pushed or stepped on our toes, stole our pencil or pulled the strand of our hair. We cried, all those times we cried and our parents will stand in our front and will do anything in power to protect us. That’s what i’ll always wish to remain. That even if we’re now old enough, they’ll always be in front to never let us feel unprotected.

People often told me how brave/tough/self-centered person i am. They made me feel that i have this superpower, no one can possess. But honestly, when you try to put your shoes on mine now. I knew, in that second you take part of my life, you would break down instantly. I just wished life would stop in fourth year high school. It would be easier that way. I have the best people in the world to lean on, to cry with, and even to scream at. I really missed my every day life with wholehearted people. I missed being protected by my compact zone.

Someone asks me today how am i dealing with all those bullshit, and i just said. I’m not, i’m shattering inside. I’m just gripping reason every second to keep still. I’m wondering to run and escape all this time, but i never did. No one knows what i’m struggling right now not even in my compact zone nor my family. Just a few people in school who are now waking up from lies. I don’t want my parents to go home, just because i’m shattering, i just wished that they we’re here. So i might not hold everything back. And i might not think of giving up.